Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
