If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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