I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
