she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
