nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
