xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
