dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
