Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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