Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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