dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
