is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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