I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
