I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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