I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm too high and old for this...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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