"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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