just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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