a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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