Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize