I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
