So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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