I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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