i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
