how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
