Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
