She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
