so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm both gender and math confused
ok first of all what the fuck
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
