Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
