I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
