Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
