wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize