Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
