My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
