She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize