Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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