So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize