just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize