I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
