Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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