Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
