When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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