Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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