Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize