I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
