What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
