There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
