Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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