we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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