All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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