Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
