he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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