they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will pee on everything he values.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
