No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
