Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
