yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
