How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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