I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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