needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
