i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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