U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
