The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
