She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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